Thursday, March 3, 2011

I am in need of some advice.

I am in need of some advice.

Advice concerning a little someone in my life.

She's going through a "stage"

let's just say, I dislike no, LOATHE this stage.

It is slowly driving me insane. :)

Okay, so she's 3 1/2 and she has the attitude of a 16 year old! I'm not even kidding.

Her new "word" is "seriously mom?" Does it really start this soon? My little baby seems to have turned into a teenager over night.

Okay, so I am exaggerating a bit.

The hubs and I have talked about doing a reward chart, or implementing some kind of rewards system for good behavior.

I have googled rewards charts, behavior charts, and anything in-between.

It is overwhelming. There are so many different systems, charts, and websites that I have no idea where to begin.

So I need your advice.

What works for your family?
What type of reward system do you use?

Any advice would help.


A Scrap of Time said...

I have the same problem with my daughter who is now 6 (it started when she was 4). I can't wait to read peoples suggestions for this one! You're not alone!

Cammie and Emily said...

Emily and I were having the SAME problem, we created behavior charts, one for boys and one for girls...they are working for Emily's 3 year old and my 4 year old. Oh and they are free to download! Check it out at:


Lora said...

I was just thinking about this today. I spent the morning cleaning up my boys room(ages 3 and almost 6)and it's still a mess. I spent 20 minutes getting my 3 year old dressed so we can take my older son to the bus stop. So I thought about some ideas to make things easier. My older two children are in French immersion. ( I have a nine year old daughter) In my son's kindergarten class they have a marble jar. When they speak french they get to put a marble in the jar. When they speak English or they don't listen to the teacher a marble is removed from the jar. When the jar is full, the class gets to pick out a toy from the toy box.(donated small toys). I was thinking of trying something similar. A daily check list, a completed task = a marble. When the jar is full then they get a treat. I might do a jar for each child.

Amy said...

I just made a sticker chart for Crystal (Poulsen/Hugel) send me your email address and you can see.
I don't have children - but with my degree, and nanny'ing experiences I am a firm believer in respect and time outs.... I have to say the 'seriously mom' would never fly with me.
If you base things off reward (chart) & discipline and you have clear expectations - her behavior will start to improve so you dont have a sassy 16 year old sooner than you want one ;).

Amy said...

P.S. -- the marble jar is a great idea. For more difficult little ones, it's a good idea to do a rotating reward instead of one chart the whole time - marble jars, sticker charts, coins, (anything that can be 'earned' and applyed toward getting a reward) you can start out trying a sticker chart or something similar and if that doesn't hold her attention you can do something new each week and rotate through 4 each month and then start over.

Andy said...

We have a jar with marbles. every good deed gets a marble every bad deed takes two out. When the jar is full then reward time... date with dad, movie with mom, whatever!
It has helped alot! and things that are done without being asked like making their beds gets three marbles!

Amanda @ New Adventures said...

I obviously don't have kids but for work I have found success for that age in using a marble jar reward system. You have two jars one full of marbles (or whatever you want to use) and anytime you catch Hannah doing something good you let her move a marble to the other jar. Then you have rewards set up when she gets to so many. (For rewards we use small things like she gets to pick the movie or the book you read.) At least for starting out we don't take marbles away. You can see what works for you.

We also use the nurtured heart approach which is focusing on catching and praising the positives CONSTANTLY- it gets a little old sometimes but its amazing how children light up every time they get caught doing something good. For example- "I see you are sitting there so quietly waiting for mommy to be done. Thank you so much for sitting so nicely. Mommy really appreciates it."

Sorry for the crazy long post!! Good luck! Hope you find something that works for you.

Unknown said...

Marbles sound like a feasible solution! I'm so going to try that!

Elyssa said...

In our house we have our "LOVE" chart. It's basically a very LARGE heart cut out of colored paper, lamanated with the words "Showing love makes me happy" on it. Rather than using a method to punish for misbehaving, we reward the good behavior and quietly deal with the bad behavior. Whatever you make a bigger deal out of, the kids will likely do again and again. So whenever we catch my 2 1/2 year old son doing something good or nice, we praise him a lot and then we let him put a smiley face sticker on his heart. Whenever he does something naughty like hit his sister, or push or say not nice words I take him into the other room and quietly (away from other children) discipline him. I have noticed that since I started doing this he has gone from SCREAMING "NO!!!" at me to saying "Okay mommy, I will." it has been FANTASTIC! sure, we still have "those days" but they aren't as frequent or as severe. I hope this helps!!!